aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
