Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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