Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
