She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
