oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
