You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
