ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
