Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
