She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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