I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
