you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Did I show you my penis last night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
