Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
