i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
