it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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