its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
These tits shall not be calmed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
