I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
