I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
