It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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