i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have post one night stand depression
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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