i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
