So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
