you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize