if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
