Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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