Can Purell be used as lube?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
