I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
