Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
