Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
