Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a search helicopter?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
