your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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