fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i now understand why vodka
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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