He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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