ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
they call him Oral-B. enough said
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
