at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she smelled like a LAN party
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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