so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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