would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
