You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he shaved USA in his pubs
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
