i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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