Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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