I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
