I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
