is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
