Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
