Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
