i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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