what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
