She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
