this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
