ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's great music for shaving your balls
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
