I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
